Love wash over a multitude of things

I've been having some weird crisis lately. I have these mini crisis every once and awhile and I can't really say why. It's as if I have to re-evaluate my life and where I am and what I'm doing every couple of days, which can get really tiring. Half the things rambled are either completely untrue or just plain ridiculous, but the fact that I didn't get the job I was going for really set it into motion.

I didn't get the job. It took one month: narrowed down to myself and one other person with one group interview, one personal interview, two glowing references and nothing but great things from the employer. But she didn't choose me.

It's mind blowing. I thought for sure I had gotten it. After 3 1/2 months of searching and feeling the desperation of money flying out of our account with no return, I thought our prayers and the prayers of friends and family had been answered. Now, after a drawn out process of a month, I have nothing to show for it and am back where I started in October. I've applied for hundreds of jobs, and nothing. It's so hard not to feel totally hopeless in an unforgiving economy that simply spits on new college grads. I know God will provide, that He has our best in mind... it's just hard to see in the fog of a situation like this.

So that situation led to wondering, should we have even moved here in the first place? That was a resounding yes. Despite my stress, my feelings of disconnect and wondering if I'll ever truly fit in with friends here, and the unknown... this is where we're supposed to be. We love this town. We love the pace, the weather, the beauty of the midwest suburbs and the great city of Chicago, and the desire amongst our friends to serve the Lord.

It picks me up to think about what life might be like when summer hits: having a thriving photography business, bicycling into downtown Wheaton and getting ice cream on a warm day, wearing shorts and flip flops every day, going to Wheaton's parks and having picnics, eating hotdogs and yelling at the players at a Cubs game at Wrigley field in downtown Chicago... I can't wait to share all of this with Joel. It makes me hopeful that someday I'll look back and laugh at all of this, the winter period of our lives... poor, stressed, and confused at what God has for us.

Hopefully, summer is coming.