photo junkie / Misty Mae

Something I notice about being a wedding photographer is the lack of pictures I take of my personal life. I don't know if it's because of the craziness of the back end or what, but I look at other wedding photographers taking tons of snaps of their own lives and I just kind of think to myself, how do you even do that without stressing out? I feel crazy as it is balancing external drives and backup DVDs... or just how obnoxious the size of my camera is with that silly battery grip. It makes me not want to take it anywhere that I'm not working! That's so crazy, right? Hopefully as I start streamlining my storing process more and more, it won't be as annoying to take photos whenever I want. Plus, I should probably start taking the battery grip off of my camera when I'm not shooting weddings. Have you ever held a 5D with a battery grip on? It's just silly. Of course, I have a theory that as soon as I'm eligible for an iPhone upgrade in April, I'll be taking iPhone pictures like a maniac. Still... do any profesh photographers out there feel the same way? (haha, profesh)

Mom and Dad Miller's dog, Misty, got hit by a car yesterday and didn't make it. I know she was just a dog, but as minute as that is, it still makes me think about death and how unnatural it feels to a human longing for eternity. Just think about it in regards to a human being... they're there, talking to you with all their life and personality in one moment, and then gone the next, leaving us with just a shell to look at. But that's the thing isn't it? It's a shell that looks like the person you shared your life with, but you can't talk to them or interact... it's SO unnatural. Here one minute, gone the next without any warning. The sadness and weirdness of it reeks of a soul made for eternity without goodbyes.

Misty was such a great dog. I lived at the Miller house before I married Joel, and we were there when Shannon brought her into the family. She had a rough start in life and lived with people who treated her cruelly, so she was skittish and freaked out and didn't want anything to do with anyone, but somehow managed to jump on people at the same time. After a few weeks working with her, she started to trust us and become part of the family... Joel even crawled into the crate we bought her because she was so scared of it that she wouldn't go in. After showing her that it wasn't so scary, she would go in without even thinking about it. After Joel and I married and left, Misty was an awesome companion for Mom and Dad Miller. She was hilarious... she'd run around the yard at what seemed like 100mph, chasing tennis balls. She put her paw on your lap as you sat watching TV in the living room. She was indifferent to dog treats, but would get beyond excited if you gave her carrots. We all loved her, it's just a weird thing to think she won't be at the door next time we visit. I'll miss that dog!

Valentimes

I don't care who you are, if you enjoy their music, or if you're a fan of love in general... THIS is just plain cute. It makes my heart melt, unashamedly. Nicely done, Adam Young.

Happy Valentimes!

another life

Sometimes I wonder if I was meant for another life. Alright, you caught me... that was totally a bit of literary exaggeration. It can't be further from the truth, because I'm living the life God intended, knowing that I have tons of faults and make mistakes along the way, but still listening to His leading and doing His will... there's just no other way.

All that being said though, do you ever sit and wonder what life would have been life IF? I know it's pointless, but sometimes my mind goes down tangents of ifs, just for the fun of it, because I have nothing better to do. What if I had chosen another career? What if I had decided not to give up on that one passion/hobby? What if we had chosen to move somewhere else? What if I had stayed when I chose to leave, or leave when I chose to stay? It's weird to think about the possibilities and the way your choices shape your life. But in the end, I always realize the same truth: I am here, doing this thing, with these people, and God is awesome.

So what, you ask, would I dream about doing otherwise down a path of "what if"s? I give you these scenarios:

1.) Living in San Francisco, working at a furniture restoration/antique shop, spending my spare time exploring my city, living in a sweet old house, wearing tons of floral summer dresses, reading literary classics and poetry on park benches with Joel, and having picnics overlooking the bay.

2.) Living in France, working in a flower shop, speaking fluent French, sitting with Joel by the side of a river eating ice cream in my favorite red cardigan sweater, reading lots of literary classics and poetry (I guess it applies here too), tending to my rooftop garden, and taking trains all over Europe.

Both of these involve taking tons of sweet photography as well... such dreams, such dreams... maybe someday I can live them out for a short vacation. Meanwhile, I love my life here in Wheaton, taking photos of people I adore, exploring a fantastic big city nearby. Not too shabby, I'd say!