After 3 hours of yardwork and cleaning around the house, I finally am getting around to work emails and editing. We just got back from a wedding/fun trip to CA, and I promised myself that when I got back I would jump into any work I hadn't had the time for in the last few weeks. But there's something else I've been putting off, and as I write back to all the inquiries in my mailbox, it just makes me further ponder what's on the horizon.
There's a bunch of big decisions I need to face when it comes to next year. One of them being how many weddings I'll take, and what Kate Miller Photography will look like in 2013. It may seem like a no-brainer... "Duh, Kate, book 22-25 weddings like you did this year. Do lots of portraits. Make money. Keep doing what you're doing!" But something has been on my mind over the last season or two that I can't shake: balancing my love of photography with my love of being at home and taking care of our household. Cooking, cleaning, grocery-shopping... all the fun stuff that comes with running your own home, I just love it! I feel so fulfilled and so happy. I feel good at it. I feel good at photography too, but I feel a different kind of accomplishment when I take care of our little home.
I don't think it has to be one or the other. I just know that the last year or two, I've barely had the time or mental space to keep our house clean/organized, keep up on shopping, and I think I can count the number of times I've cooked a meal for us all by myself on two hands. Seriously. Often we either resort to piecing together random stuff from our fridge or eating out/takeout. It bums me out, majorly.
I'm leaning toward taking less weddings and focusing more on housewifing a bit more, honing my household skills and preparing for having kids in the next year or two... of course, there's all kinds of obstacles that go into this, one being that in our modern society it's weird for a childless wife to stay at home. I'm supposed to work. Children will happen for us in the next year or two, but in the meantime, being a housewife almost equates to being lazy if you don't have kids to raise. I know my own mind and don't care what others think, but it's still something I think about from time to time.
I know it'll all become clear as this season comes to a close, and I know that spending some time in prayer is going to be good. Excited for 2013. :)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Just one of those Austen fanatics, or "how I wish I could live in a different era... all the time"
I seem to get inspiration in the strangest of places and times in life. It all started in the bathroom of Maggiano's (I know this sounds like a weird place to start, but stick with me here)... some of our business associates took us (the Millers 5) out to lunch today to celebrate Joel & Alan's birthday, we had a lot of fun and it was delicious. I went to use the restroom, and as I was washing my hands, I looked up and saw a painting. Usually I'd admire it a little, take a paper towel, and go about my business, but something about this painting really struck me. It was a classic-looking painting of a young woman with long brown hair in a wide-brimmed hat with blue ribbon, sitting in the middle of a swath of wildflowers in the country. Next to her was a gravel road, and next to that a white cottage with a thatched roof and blue trim, flower boxes under each window, and a small gate. I couldn't find the exact painting on the internet, but if you search "woman garden painting" in google image search, you'll get a lot of similar paintings.
What I couldn't predict is how strongly, in that moment, I would feel and react to seeing that painting. I just stood there for the longest time, staring at it, and felt my heart burning (maybe it was the pasta, but I doubt it). I've never wanted to jump into a painting and be the subject or character more than I did in that moment. I wanted to sit in that field, read a book, and enjoy the same warm, sunny day that she was enjoying.
Sometimes I just want to shed my modernity so badly. I know I exist in this century, during this time, for many many reasons, but I read classic literature, see these amazing paintings, watch period pieces, and just ache for a simple life. I want to live in a small house in the country. I want to know how to cook and bake from scratch, how to keep animals, sew, garden, have friends over for tea... it all sounds so foofy and cliche, but I really mean it! Give me any author and place - Jane Austen's England, Louisa May Alcott's Massachusetts, or just simply pioneer women in the west - and my mind drifts. The homemade butter, the quilts, the ink bottles and wax seals, and the clothes (my GOSH the clothes)... I can't get enough of it.
I appreciate a lot about modernity: grocery stores, electricity, computers, telephones, cars... they all make life easier, but they all make life faster too. And sometimes more stressful. That's the other side of the coin, and that's what I don't like: the pace and the stress. I wonder if humans were ever built to live like this. To have to buy so many things in order to operate, to be involved in so many activities and in so many social circles... it feels like total chaos. In older days, you had a smaller, closer circle of friends, you'd send letters and walk places, and you could be self-sustaining and take life so much more slowly. I joke sometimes that I wouldn't mind living in the Georgian era, but with modern medicine and plumbing.
If I ever tried to live this way today, society would call me a freak. But part of me doesn't care. How awesome would it be to go The Village-style and create a community that lived 200 years in the past? Does that make me sound crazy? Hm, I think it does, a little. I'll leave it there, and give you a few close examples of the painting I saw...
What I couldn't predict is how strongly, in that moment, I would feel and react to seeing that painting. I just stood there for the longest time, staring at it, and felt my heart burning (maybe it was the pasta, but I doubt it). I've never wanted to jump into a painting and be the subject or character more than I did in that moment. I wanted to sit in that field, read a book, and enjoy the same warm, sunny day that she was enjoying.
Sometimes I just want to shed my modernity so badly. I know I exist in this century, during this time, for many many reasons, but I read classic literature, see these amazing paintings, watch period pieces, and just ache for a simple life. I want to live in a small house in the country. I want to know how to cook and bake from scratch, how to keep animals, sew, garden, have friends over for tea... it all sounds so foofy and cliche, but I really mean it! Give me any author and place - Jane Austen's England, Louisa May Alcott's Massachusetts, or just simply pioneer women in the west - and my mind drifts. The homemade butter, the quilts, the ink bottles and wax seals, and the clothes (my GOSH the clothes)... I can't get enough of it.
I appreciate a lot about modernity: grocery stores, electricity, computers, telephones, cars... they all make life easier, but they all make life faster too. And sometimes more stressful. That's the other side of the coin, and that's what I don't like: the pace and the stress. I wonder if humans were ever built to live like this. To have to buy so many things in order to operate, to be involved in so many activities and in so many social circles... it feels like total chaos. In older days, you had a smaller, closer circle of friends, you'd send letters and walk places, and you could be self-sustaining and take life so much more slowly. I joke sometimes that I wouldn't mind living in the Georgian era, but with modern medicine and plumbing.
If I ever tried to live this way today, society would call me a freak. But part of me doesn't care. How awesome would it be to go The Village-style and create a community that lived 200 years in the past? Does that make me sound crazy? Hm, I think it does, a little. I'll leave it there, and give you a few close examples of the painting I saw...
The Prairie is my Garden, by Harvey Dunn
Woman Harvesting Vegetables at the Farm, by Max Baer
The Cottage in Summer, by Sidney Shelton
Thursday, January 26, 2012
the worst blogger
I am the worst blogger ever. But I've accepted it, because while I'm terrible at personal blogging, I do a lot of photo blogging through my photography business blog and I Instagram a ton. That counts, right? Visual blogging? I'll take it.
It's the down season, which means doing lots of photo backups, updating packaging, and doing a redesign. I don't like changing things a ton every season, but my style evolves and I get a chance to reflect how I feel, shoot, and dress though my site and materials... why not use the opportunity? I'm stoked! I'm adding some fun through punches of watercolor, some texture through elements that look like old graph paper... it is going to look so so awesome. Plus my client info packets are going to get an overhaul by using giant red envelopes, bird paper clips, stamps and textured tape... am I boring you? Because I absolutely love this stuff. Walk me into a Paper Source and FORGET about it, I'm absolutely gone.
I've been on a major M83 kick lately... what is it with French/European electro 80's revival music that just gets me every time? I have been listening to their latest album for months and haven't gotten tired of it in the least. I guess I've always loved stuff that reminds me of 80's electropop, but our friend Colin told me the other day that I might have a secret fondness of shoegaze. Never would have pinned myself for that genre, but whatever it is, I can't stop blasting it in my office!
I'm doing a lot of planning of our year (it just happens when you're a wedding photographer... everything mapped out in advance) and realized that we're going to California 2 - 3 times this year. For being a Midwestern transplant, I'm sure in my home state a lot. The craziest part is that I'll be in Northern/Central California for most of those trips, and revisiting my hometown for the first time in 4 1/2 years (it happens when your parents move out of state right after high school graduation). Sometimes I think back to the time I lived there and it feels like a hazy dream, like it barely happened, and then I start really concentrating on the places and circumstances, and it all comes flooding back. I think of when I was a graduating senior... I had no idea what the outside world was really like, what my style was, what I loved to do. I've experienced SO much since then and gotten a better grasp of my identity and style. The weirdest part is that I'm going to be doing an engagement session while there! I've never thought of my hometown from a photographic standpoint before, and when I lived there, I didn't have the passion/skill I have know... it's just so weird to think about.
In "stay-tuned" news: Joel and Colin got me a very old (1910?) tenor banjo this last week. It needs tuning pegs, a bridge, and strings, and then we're good to go! I can't wait to get playing on it... I'm thinking of using nylon strings and tuning like a baritone uke, because I love that sound. We'll see how it goes, I'll keep you posted (hopefully).
Ciao!
It's the down season, which means doing lots of photo backups, updating packaging, and doing a redesign. I don't like changing things a ton every season, but my style evolves and I get a chance to reflect how I feel, shoot, and dress though my site and materials... why not use the opportunity? I'm stoked! I'm adding some fun through punches of watercolor, some texture through elements that look like old graph paper... it is going to look so so awesome. Plus my client info packets are going to get an overhaul by using giant red envelopes, bird paper clips, stamps and textured tape... am I boring you? Because I absolutely love this stuff. Walk me into a Paper Source and FORGET about it, I'm absolutely gone.
I've been on a major M83 kick lately... what is it with French/European electro 80's revival music that just gets me every time? I have been listening to their latest album for months and haven't gotten tired of it in the least. I guess I've always loved stuff that reminds me of 80's electropop, but our friend Colin told me the other day that I might have a secret fondness of shoegaze. Never would have pinned myself for that genre, but whatever it is, I can't stop blasting it in my office!
I'm doing a lot of planning of our year (it just happens when you're a wedding photographer... everything mapped out in advance) and realized that we're going to California 2 - 3 times this year. For being a Midwestern transplant, I'm sure in my home state a lot. The craziest part is that I'll be in Northern/Central California for most of those trips, and revisiting my hometown for the first time in 4 1/2 years (it happens when your parents move out of state right after high school graduation). Sometimes I think back to the time I lived there and it feels like a hazy dream, like it barely happened, and then I start really concentrating on the places and circumstances, and it all comes flooding back. I think of when I was a graduating senior... I had no idea what the outside world was really like, what my style was, what I loved to do. I've experienced SO much since then and gotten a better grasp of my identity and style. The weirdest part is that I'm going to be doing an engagement session while there! I've never thought of my hometown from a photographic standpoint before, and when I lived there, I didn't have the passion/skill I have know... it's just so weird to think about.
In "stay-tuned" news: Joel and Colin got me a very old (1910?) tenor banjo this last week. It needs tuning pegs, a bridge, and strings, and then we're good to go! I can't wait to get playing on it... I'm thinking of using nylon strings and tuning like a baritone uke, because I love that sound. We'll see how it goes, I'll keep you posted (hopefully).
Ciao!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)